Ungrateful child.

Ungrateful child.</b>


They called me ungrateful child… Why? I never did something wrong!

When they send me to calisthenics I never complained for six years, when I had to go through hell! When they send me to ballet school, I never complained that I was bullied for three years and that I wanted to die! When I was raped, I didn't say a word about it! When I went to high school I always smiled, even if I felt so out of the place, but I never complained!

I never complained, because I didn't want them to say that I am ungrateful or make them feel shameful because of me!

I always ask how they are doing! I always ask about their work, even if I don't really get the thing about it! I always make them understand that I care!

But when I finally say that I have finished the book, which means so much to me, they act as if they have no interest. They don't support me!

Today my father said that I am ungrateful and that's the reason why I am not sure if I want kids like myself as I am ungrateful!

No! I am just realist! I don't want to get my hopes up for something that I am not sure about! So what's wrong about saying that I don't want kids, at least for now! And what's wrong about saying that I am not sure whether I will marry or not! I am not sure about that because I may fall in love with a girl! I am a realistic and I know that things like that happen!

My father said that if I wish so, I can keep sitting in my room and keep on writing some crap… Really… Did I miss the moment when someone said that family should stop supporting each other? If I did, then tell me please!

I would rather prefer that it's a law, than that my family is this horrible…

I always supported them all! Would it be a small and unimportant thing or big and important thing, I always supported them and I cared for them!

I may be alone for the most of my free time, but I still did everything to support them and care for them, then why, when I need just a small recognition from them, they can't give it to me!?

Yes, it's important for me to know that other people like my works and that they support me, but family is the one which should support me the most… And they don't do it… And I can't really see the reason why I am doing it all if there is no one and nothing that supports me…

I have always gone through everything alone and I always succeeded, but I am at my limit to break down…    

Is it really that hard to say one word to let me know that you care?

Am I really the one who is ungrateful?